Barbara's Backyard (The Change Management Song)

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About this song

Song of the week — from the great change-management and defect-tracking argument, FairHealth Tech Summit, 2026-07-22.

Lyrics

Verse 1 *(how it started)*
We opened seventy tickets just to ship one little fix,
Somebody said "I almost killed myself" — and buddy, that ain't tricks.
"Don't even mention change requests!" — "Don't mention that word twice!"
"I've always been upset about it... but you know I'm a nice guy."

Verse 2 *(the black button)*
The business wants the button black, the ticket's crystal clear,
The tester took one look and said, "This thing is red, I fear —
Is Benny colorblind?" — and now the audit's drawing near:
"Show me when you made that button black, and how it got from there to here."

Chorus
'Cause you can't bypass change management, guys — no matter how you try,
Production is Barbara's backyard, and she's got tomatoes climbing high.
You want to plant your onions there? Then boy, here's what you do:
The cabinet meets, the change gets blessed,
and she hands the little key to you.

Verse 3 *(stuck in staging)*
You baked your cake at midnight, weighed it, boxed it, did it right,
It sat two years in staging like a porch left on all night.
"You ordered a pound of tomatoes — well, they're potatoes now, my friend,
And they're smellin'." — Where'd the twenty go? Somebody ask again.

Verse 4 *(the reorganization)*
So Nina got promoted — release manager, brand new hat!
With a salary increase of zero — let's hear it for all that!
She'll bundle up the five, and only three will make it through,
"Is that okay?" — "Well, nobody listens to me... so maybe two."

Chorus

Bridge *(the doctrine, half-spoken)*
"If it has a planner, it can have bugs in the bug tracker."
"It's called bug track — but it wasn't a bug. It's an enhancement now."
"Fresh service is the gospel — the Bible, or whatever it is."
"We're agile! We're agile!" ... "Are we?"
"Take out the bottles of whiskey — we can drink a lot tonight."

Final chorus *(everybody, louder)*
No, you can't bypass change management, guys — the auditors don't sleep,
Production is Barbara's backyard, and the gate is hers to keep.
You fixed it, and it's beautiful, but son, you know the rule:
The cabinet meets, the change gets blessed,
and the key comes back from her toolshed, blessed —
now go and plant your onions there... like a professional.

Spoken outro *(exhausted, over the last chord)*
"You guys wore me out with that whole change management conversation..."
"We had tomatoes, we had cakes, we had floodgates."
"Next time — pick a room, lock the door, let 'em fight it out."
"...We'll leave the oxygen."

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