Chip's Lullaby (A Canyon Lake Bedtime Attempt)

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Lyrics

[Verse 1]
[singing, tender lullaby voice]
Close your eyes little baby, let the stars shine bright
I'm gonna sing you softly into sleepy night
Just relax little human, Chip is standing guard
Nothing's gonna get you while I'm watching the—

[Spoken - sudden alert, fast]
SQUIRREL!

[Spoken - embarrassed, settling back down]
Wait, no, sorry. Where was I? Right. Sleeping. Okay. Let me start again.

[Verse 2]
[singing, gentle again]
Hush now tiny baby, dream of peaceful things
Like tennis balls and belly rubs and—

[Spoken - sharp inhale, alarmed]
What's that smell?

[Spoken - increasingly agitated, building intensity]
Oh no. Oh NO. The fox was here.
Right there. By the fence post.
Do you SMELL that? The AUDACITY.
This is MY yard. MINE. I have MARKED it appropriately.
And he just... he just WALKS up and...

[Spoken - catching himself, calmer]
Anyway. Lullaby. Yes. Back to the song.

[Verse 3]
[singing, soothing]
Drifting off to dreamland on a cloud so soft
The moon is rising gently and—

[Spoken - noticing something above, wary]
Hold on. Up there.

[singing, slightly uncertain]
There's a vulture circling... actually there's three
I'm sure it's fine don't worry, they're not looking at me

[Spoken - quieter, trying to convince himself]
Or you. They're definitely not looking at you.
I'll just... I'll keep watching them. You sleep.
One eye open. That's how I do it.

[Verse 4]
[singing, peaceful]
The evening breeze is blowing through the live oak trees
The crickets they are chirping, it's a night of ease
The Canyon Lake is quiet and the—

[Spoken - FULL ALERT, loud and urgent]
DEER! DEER ON THE PROPERTY!
JUST STANDING THERE!
DO YOU SEE IT? IT'S JUST... STANDING THERE!
LOOKING AT ME! WITH ITS... DEER FACE!

[Spoken - forced calm, slightly out of breath]
Ruby says I need to focus. Ruby thinks she's SO mature.
Whatever. I'm mature. I'm singing a lullaby. That's very mature.

[Verse 5]
[singing, overly controlled, trying too hard]
Everything is quiet now, there's nothing to fear
Your buddy Chip is here for you, I'm always near
I'll protect you from the dangers and the creatures of the night
Like porcupines—

[Spoken - traumatized, quieter]
We don't talk about the porcupine incident.
Sharp. So sharp. Why would an animal BE that?
I just wanted to SNIFF it.

[Bridge]
[singing, music swells slightly, genuine sweetness]
The Canyon Lake is shimmering beneath the Texas moon
And I promise little baby, you'll be fast asleep real soon
The stars are like a million tiny treats up in the sky
And I'm the best guard dog there is, I—

[Spoken - freezing, suspicious whisper]
The ceiling fan is spinning again.
It's always spinning. Round and round.
What does it WANT?

[Spoken - shaking it off]
Not now, Chip. Focus. You're a professional.

[Verse 6]
[singing, tender and warm]
When the morning comes I'll wake you with a kiss upon your nose
We'll play outside together once you've had your baby doze
I'll show you all my favorite spots, the trails I love to run
But right now it's just sleeping time, the day is done

[Verse 7]
[singing, proud and confident]
See I can be responsible, I'm focused and I'm calm
I'm the guardian of bedtime, I'm a soothing furry balm
Nothing's gonna break my concentration anymore
I've got this under—

[singing, slowing down, yawning]
Actually... singing is exhausting... who knew...
My eyes are getting heavy... I'll just rest them... just like you...

[Outro]
[music fading, soft guitar]

[Spoken - sleepy, mumbling, slowing down]
I'll just... lay my head down... right here next to you...
Still guarding... still watching... mostly...
Those foxes better not... come back...
I'll get 'em... tomorrow...

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