Nobody Asked the Rug

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About this song

When the rug could change the outcome... But nobody notices that.

Lyrics

[Intro - Instrumental, slow mournful accordion]

[Verse 1 - High Tenor, slow and deliberate]
They crept through Nah-zug's chamber in the dead of night
They took her gold and her bolts of cloth so bright
They found a rug with symbols in the center of the room
A mage hand rolled it gently — into the bag of doom

[Chorus - Tenor with sinister choir]
Nobody asked the rug
Nobody thought to say
We have here a weapon of considerable weight
We'll just stuff it away for another day
Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha

[Verse 2 - High Tenor, conspiratorial]
They argued on the road about the thing inside the bag
Could you throw it on an orc and watch the orc just sag?
Could you roll it out in battle upside down and let it feed?
They decided it was dangerous — more than they would need

[Chorus - Tenor with sinister choir]
Nobody asked the rug
Nobody thought to say
We have here a weapon of considerable weight
We'll just stuff it away for another day
Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha

[Bridge - Spoken, deadpan over sparse accordion]
The portal opened into darkness
Sixty feet below the stone
Cinder's head was on a post
And they were very much alone
Two shadows stirred above them
Two shadows with wings and breath
The bag of holding sat there waiting
Patient as death

[Verse 3 - High Tenor, quieter, deliberate]
Aldrick swung his sword until his sword swung no more
The Wizard wore Nah-zug's face but forgot what it was for
Ambry and Astra fell to tooth and claw and flame
And the bag sat in the corner playing nobody's game

[Chorus - Full ensemble, slower, mournful]
Nobody asked the rug
Nobody thought to say
We have here a weapon of considerable weight
We'll just stuff it away for another day
Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha

[Verse 4 - High Tenor, almost gentle]
A dragon stepping onto that rug would simply cease to soar
Two dragons on that rug would be two dragons nevermore
The symbols were still glowing at the bottom of the bag
While Zach climbed through the ceiling and the rest of them just sagged

[Outro - Sparse accordion, slowing to nothing]
The bag sits in the pit now
The dragons circle overhead
The rug waits in the darkness
Among the quiet dead
It doesn't know it missed its chance
It doesn't know at all
It only knows it's ready
For whenever something falls
Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha
Ha-ha

[End]

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