the Rug of Doom

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About this song

When a rug becomes the trap

Lyrics

[Intro - Instrumental, slow sinister accordion waltz]

[Verse 1 - High Tenor, slow and deliberate]
Nah-zug was a shaman of considerable skill
She lived in the dark at the heart of the hill
Her lair had a weakness, a gap in her plans
A spot on the floor that needed her hands

[Chorus - Tenor with sinister choir]
Would it be a rug or would it be a door?
What manner of doom should she lay on the floor?
Something that beckons, something that glows
Something that swallows whatever it knows
Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha

[Verse 2 - High Tenor, conspiratorial]
A door was too obvious, clumsy and crude
A door was the thinking of someone subdued
But a rug — ah a rug — was domestic and smart
A rug was the thinking of one with true art

[Chorus - Tenor with sinister choir]
Would it be a rug or would it be a door?
What manner of doom should she lay on the floor?
Something that beckons, something that glows
Something that swallows whatever it knows
Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha

[Bridge - Spoken, deadpan over sparse accordion]
She spent three days weaving the symbols in tight
She hummed an old song by the guttering light
She was proud of her work when at last it was done
A beautiful trap for the unwary ones
She smoothed down the edges
She stood back and smiled
Nobody suspects a rug

[Verse 3 - High Tenor, delighted]
She placed it with care in the center of the room
She whispered the words that would activate doom
She imagined her enemies stepping inside
She laughed at the thought of their pitiful cries

[Chorus - Full ensemble, building]
It wasn't a door it was better than that
A glorious rug and she'd seen to all that
Something that beckons, something that glows
Something that swallows whatever it knows
Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha

[Verse 4 - High Tenor, quieter, ominous]
But Nah-zug forgot in her moment of pride
That doom has no master and takes no one's side
The rug didn't know her, the rug didn't care
The rug only knew what was standing right there

[Outro - Slow, sparse accordion, fading]
And somewhere below in the dark and the deep
The symbols lie waiting
The rug is asleep
It doesn't care who
It doesn't care when
Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha
Ha-ha

[End]

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