16 - Nevermore, a Proper English Tragedy

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About this song

A comedic Gothic ballad from a dignified English dog's perspective, lamenting the relentless pestering of an energetic Australian Shepherd who just wants to play - a parody of Poe's "The Raven."

Lyrics

[Verse 1 - Proper English accent, dramatic]
Once upon a midday dreary, while I rested, worn and weary
Came a tapping, ever-rapping at my chamber's metaphoric door
"'Tis some visitor," I muttered, "tapping at my resting floor—
Only this Australian—nothing more"

[Verse 2 - Growing dread]
But the tapping grew insistent, his attention quite persistent
Every moment of my solitude he seeks to now ignore
In my face his tennis ball he's flinging
In my ears his cheerful barking ringing
While I long for peaceful silence evermore

[Chorus - Gothic despair]
"Leave me be!" I cry in vain
But he returns again, again
Too well-bred to make a scene, I suffer with propriety
Quoth the Aussie, "Wanna play?"
Every single bloody day
This torment shall continue—evermore, evermore

[Verse 3 - Dark resignation]
I could stop him—yes, I could, with a growl as any proper dog would
But one mustn't be uncivil, even when one's spirit's poor
So I endure with British bearing
While he's jumping, bouncing, staring
And my sanity walks slowly toward the door

[Bridge - Building to crescendo]
Is there no respite? No mercy?
Must this persecution worsen endlessly?
I am cursed to be too civilized
To tell this pest to please be gone
And so the torture carries on

[Final Chorus - Resigned doom]
"Leave me be!" I cry in vain
But he returns again, again  
Too well-bred to cause a fuss, I bear my cross with dignity
Quoth the Aussie, "Wanna play?"
Every single bloody day
This torment shall continue—
Nevermore shall I know peace
Nevermore, forevermore

[Outro - Spoken, defeated British accent]
And thus I lie here, contemplating darkness
While he drops his ball upon my head... again

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